But In The End, You Gave Up

Over.

What a word. 

You and I… we’re over. 

And it hurts. It hurts so bad.

I’ve endured some difficult things. I’ve found rock bottom a few times and I’ve made a comeback each time. 

With every ‘fall” I’ve taken, I’ve gotten back up, stronger, wiser, and more able than I was before.

But with you, losing you has been hell to overcome. 

Complete hell.

I look at all our pictures and videos. I reminisce and laugh. I smile and remember the blissful times I had with you.

When I talk about you, hear your name, remember something randomly about you, my heart aches… it physically aches. 

And I think about how good we were together and I just cry.

I cry because I don’t understand why you’re not here anymore. 

Like you would think I could let you go… but I can’t. 

I am having the hardest time moving on. Tomorrow will mark 2 weeks from the last time I saw you and it pains me. Physically pains me that this is over.

Over.

What a word. 

You and I… we’re over. 

And it hurts. It hurts so bad. 

Why does it hurt? 

Because I really thought it would be you…. but also I was so afraid for it to be you.

So afraid. 

How does someone just move on from you? 

Because I would like to talk to them and ask because you were the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Hands down the best thing.

I loved you more than I loved anyone else. 

I still do for hell’s sake.

I’m just so angry.

I’m angry with you.

Why isn’t it right?

Why did your feelings change?

Why did you withdraw and why did we not stop this sooner before we got this invested?

I know that moving on was what I needed to do, but I’m so sad.

I’m mad and I’m hurt and I just….. I just want you.

I want you to hold me and tell me that everything is going to work out.

I want to go to sleep and wake up from this awful dream that I’m not with you anymore.

I want to wake up and realize that all of this was just a long and drawn out space of learning.

I don’t want this anymore.

I just want us to realize that we are made for each other.

Because here’s the thing, I don’t want to be vulnerable with anyone else. 

I don’t want to tell anyone about my fears and history.

I don’t want to learn to communicate with anyone else. I just want to be with you because you get me. 

You get me.

I’m tired of being alone. 

I miss you. That’s ultimately what this is.

I just need this off my chest though…

I feel like you gave up.

I feel like you just decided one day that we were done. 

I think rather than you talking to me, you gave up and you shut down. 

You shut me out.

When did you give up? When did your doubts take root? When did you decide that your fears were greater than us and your lies more important? When did you decide that communication wasn’t important anymore? Why did you give up? Why did you sabotage us?

For some reason I just feel like I need more closure… but what more is there to close? 

What more can you tell me that will make me satisfied?

Nothing.

We are over and I am having a hard time accepting that.

I’m having a hard time believing that it really is over and that I am supposed to just move on.

You were my everything and I was so happy with you.

Moving on from you is so far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

-anonymous-

To submit an anonymous letter or story of your own, send us an email!